Breaking Heart | 4everlost23's Blog

I don't even know how I feel right now, I guess I am in shock. I just can not believe that my Auntie might be leaving this world soon. She has always been there for me really and truly she is like a second mother to me. Oh, I really don't know what to do now, I just feel so numb, like I can't believe it. It is true nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one, nothing. I feel like I have actually stepped out of my body and am watching someone else. My heart is truly breaking right now. I am trying to be strong for my mom, and I feel as if I am not doing a job about it. It feels like there is a dam in inside me that holding back the waters as hard as it can, but the waters win. The floodgates have burst. I find myself doing the dishes, or taking a shower and out of the blue the tears just hit, so hard and I can not hold them back. I find myself just walking about trying to do ordinary things and just breaking down being racked with tears. I hope to go back to the hospital later today to see her again. My Aunt is a fighter, she gave this cancer a run for its money, but this is a battle that my auntie is going to lose. I don't know what to say but my heart is truly breaking. I am losing the woman who is literally my second mom. So sad I pray that she goes on to sleep in no pain.